Why Kermit Should Have Stayed Home That Weekend
by Moonbeam's Predilections
Summary: In which Kermit Griffin is probably wishing he'd stayed in bed.


A sorta-sequel to the Supernatural/Transformers crossover, "Never Never Land", but can stand alone. Written because Amadraco dared me to give into a great and terrible desire. This is the slightly longer version that I had to pear down for LJ's comment limit.

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Why Kermit Should Have Stayed Home That Weekend  
By Moonbeam

He was on his way back from visiting Marilyn and the kids. Since reconnecting over the whole 'demons in the walls' thing, he was really trying to make an effort to be a good uncle. That included mid-week visits to celebrate such important milestones as birthdays and graduating high school. Marilyn seemed to appreciate it. She had even suggested her brother stay over, bunking in with the kids, rather than drive home in the dark. Despite the scary prospect of spending the night surrounded by excitable teenagers, Kermit was tempted but...

A fireball, several metres in length easily, streaked low through the air directly in front of him. Only mercenary-trained reflexes saved him from obliteration as he jerked the wheel. His car rolled violently into the ditch instead. The last thing he saw before passing out was an explosion of dirt as the fireball made impact.

When he came to, he lying in the grass staring up a peaceful field of stars. Confused, he gently felt along his forehead where pain was radiating from above his left temple. His fingers came away sticky and wet. Blood, but not any more than you'd expect from a head wound. Determining he was otherwise uninjured, Kermit sat up and took stock.

The Kermit Mobile, his beloved frog-green classic 1965 Chevy Corvair convertible, was a mangled smoldering wreck rocking precariously on its side in the ditch.

"How the hell did I survive that?!"

"Oh, it wasn't as bad as it looks!" A bubbly, sweet voice said from behind him. "I pulled you out before the fire spread."

He turned to look as his rescuer. "Thanks, that would have been..."

A giant metal robot was standing behind him. Just visible in the faint moonlight, a large hole (_crater_, his mind prodded him) was carved into the dirt beside her feet. For it was definitely a 'her'. The robot, while massive compared to him at easily 15 feet tall, was smooth-lined and vaguely curvaceous like a female. Even the voice matched, light and airy and distinctly feminine.

"Sorry about your car," she said, crouching to get closer to his level. "I got a little off-track on my entry into your planet's atmosphere."

That triggered something his scrambled mind had been trying to tell him along. "You're one of those robotic aliens that have been blowing up cities! There are tons of rumours about you on the 'Net, but not much real information."

"Oh, you know about us? How wonderful!" she exclaimed, relieved. The message calling them to Earth had warned them to keep a low profile after all, as most of the indigenous organic lifeforms didn't know they existed. "I'm an Autobot. My name is Moonracer, I'm a femme in Elita-One's command. My sisters, Arcee and Chromia, are already here and I'm supposed to meet up with them in the morning."

"Oh, so you're close to others of your kind. Interesting." He considered for a moment, then thought, _what the hell?_ His life had been getting too boring and predictable since Peter became a priest anyway. "Where are they?"

She pointed south-east. "About 742 miles that way."

He raised an eyebrow. "And you have to be there by morning? _That _could be difficult. How are we going to get you there without being seen?"

"Oh, that's not a problem! I managed to get a good scan of your car before I ripped it apart to get to you." She smiled brightly. "Here, see..."

And with a whirling dervish of shifting metal parts, her form twisted and reshaped itself until she looked like an exact match for his now dead Kermit Mobile. Top down and paint sparkling, she awaited his judgment. "So, how do I look? Pretty cool, huh! This is a great alt-mode, way better than a motorcycle. The girls are going to be soooo jealous! And I love the colour, it's so pretty!"

Kermit's head tilted, staring suspiciously at her. "Just how _old _are you?"

Moonracer giggled, embarrassed to be caught out. "About 16 million of your years. I know I'm young, but I promise I'm still a really good warrior. Maybe not as good as my sisters yet, but I'm learning all the time. I can already outshoot them all!"

"Great, stuck on a road trip with the giant alien robot equivalent of a teenaged girl." Sighing, Kermit slapped on his spare green sunglasses and climbed into the driver's seat. "Alright, let's go. We've got a long drive ahead of us."

Sometimes, he couldn't help but get the feeling Karma really just enjoyed laughing at him.

The End.


End file.
